The Newspaper Reporter
by Lightning-Dono
Summary: What happens when a newspaper reporter interviews the cast of Golden Sun? Havoc, embarrassment, and pain, in some cases. (R&R, will ya?)
1. Isaac's Interview

Lightning-Dono: Okay, what happens when a newspaper reporter goes and interviews the Golden Sun (TLA) cast? (The main cast, that is) A Golden Sun fic with...stupidity, humor, and...all of that good stuff.  
  
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Reporter: ((is creeping around in a suspiscious manner with a bullhorn)) ((shouts into bullhorn)) Today, we will be interviewing Isaac, the brave, honorable, and...brave main person in Golden Sun! AND HERO OF WEYARD  
  
Isaac: Gawd, can't someone get any sleep in this place? ((spots reporter in the hallway)) Oh, no.  
  
Reporter: So, where do you want to be interviewed?  
  
Isaac: Here. And make it quick. And LOSE THE BULLHORN!  
  
Reporter: No. I -need- to be heard for some reason. So, Isaac, how does it feel to be an 'only child'?  
  
Isaac: It feels normal. It's a good thing because there aren't any annoying little twerps following me around.  
  
Reporter: Are you normally this mean?  
  
Isaac: No. I just woke up. What newspaper or you from?  
  
Reporter: I'm the one from Earth. It's for the New York Times.   
  
Isaac: o.o   
  
Reporter: What?   
  
Isaac: Nothing. Please continue.  
  
Reporter: Is there anything going on between you and...Jenna? =)  
  
Isaac: If you're from Earth, how do you know all of this?  
  
Reporter: I sometimes get sucked into my GBA while playing Golden Sun, so I thought I'd go and interview people while I was here.  
  
Isaac: o-.-o --- blushing Well, uh, no.  
  
Reporter: Hold that expression for a sec.  
  
Isaac: Eh?  
  
Reporter: I need to sketch you out while you're blushing. I'll tell everyone that you love Jenna! MUAHAHAHA! ((loud, continual cough follows the evil laughter)) ((coughing stops))  
  
Isaac: GAK! ((runs back into room loud banging sounds follow))  
  
Reporter: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!?   
  
((door opens and Isaac's mom stares at the reporter))  
  
Reporter: Hi.  
  
((door closes))  
  
((Isaac comes back out an hour wearing a tuxedo, make-up (don't ask), with his hair slicked back))  
  
Isaac: Now you have permission to sketch me. Now I'll look good -and- no one will recognize me! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who's the one laughing evilly now? ((triumphant grin))  
  
Reporter: Shoot.  
  
Isaac: Okay, now you can sketch away.  
  
Reporter: Never mind. And ways, how does it feel to fight bad guys?  
  
Isaac: I fought bad guys?  
  
Reporter: Yes, you idiot! Felix! Remember him? And Alex! Talk about-  
  
Isaac: He's not that bad. We ended up teaming up with him in the end. Plus, he's Jenna's brother, so he can't really be a bad guy...He's all nice and stuff, right? Alex is part of Mia's clan, too.  
  
Reporter: ((is taking notes for her report)) Thinks Felix...Nice...stuff...Alex...part...Mia...clan...  
  
Isaac: MIA'S clan, not the MIA clan! oo  
  
Reporter: ((erases)) MIA's...clan...  
  
Isaac: Can I leave now? I need to take off these clothes.  
  
Reporter: Why?  
  
Isaac: I sprayed colonge all over them! ((choke))  
  
Reporter: Go ahead. I'll go interview someone else. ((throws bullhorn in trash))  
  
Isaac: What was that for!?  
  
Reporter: To annoy you. And it's free - you get to keep it. Oh, well. I'll take a stop at Felix's place next.  
  
-----  
  
That was kind of strange. Anyhow, just to let you know, the reporter is not an image character of me. I wouldn't do that to torture poor Isaac. =( 


	2. Isaac's Article

Lightning-Dono: This fanfic is actually quite fun to write, but I can't put actions between astericks, so that's what these "(( ))" are for, just incase you couldn't tell or something. The words between "" are settings. Here's a brief key:  
  
((INSERT TEXT HERE)) = actions  
  
/INSERT TEXT HERE/ = setting  
  
-INSERT TEXT HERE- = emphasis  
  
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/Next morning outside/  
  
Isaac: Ah, mail. We rarely get this. Probably because our mailbox got carried away in that one tsunami. Oh, well. It's just a newspaper...With my picture on it. ((stares at newspaper with wide eyes)) Do I -seriously- have such a big zit on my face?! ((Isaac reads the article beneath the picture))  
  
'Reporter Tammi Tsubasa -  
  
This afternoon while interviewing the protagonist of the famed series of Golden Sun, I knew that trouble was brewing. Isaac, age 17, was reluctant to accept the interview, but I knew it was essential for all of his rabid fan people to understand his true feelings. That is why this dangerous task was attempted early yesterday morning. With the help of a large bullhorn and my ultra-cute looks, I managed to persuade him to let me interview him. Now the veil that had been pulled before his face after he had saved Weyard will be lifted, to reveal his mental feelings. When asked about his feelings for Jenna, a perky young brunette that had been his faithful traveling companion, he denyed the fact that he had ever had any feelings for her.  
  
"Why the heck would I have feelings for that ugly thing?" He had demanded unbashfully. Apparently, he is very insensitive and believes that he can hurt other's feelings without any dire punishment. After this very brutal statement about the young girl, he rushed into his room, and arrived again with a wedding ring. At first, I was shocked, thinking that he was going to propose to me. But he handed it to me and told me that it was to be passed onto Jenna and that he wished for me to deliver it. I, of course, slipped it onto my own finger and promised I would. If Jenna never gets her ring, I'm very sorry, as I dropped the non-existant ring inside a pool of mud just as I got out of the musty building that out beloved Isaac calls home. Afterwards, he went back into his room and dressed up as a lady Izumo inhabitant would. I was pained to see him inside that colorful kimono that belonged on the body of one of the opposite gender...  
  
I dared to venture out to ask deeper and affecting questions. I asked about how he felt about Felix. He brazenly told me that Felix was such an understandable man and that he had never intended to fight Felix. I then asked about Alex. Remember that gorgeous, strong and silent, blue-haired young man? Yes, him. He said that he was fine as he was part of MIA'S clan. Why there was such a heavy emphasis on Mia's name we never knew. Our interview was then cut short when he tried to strangle me and I lost my precious bullhorn in the process.   
  
Thank you for reading this article...'  
  
Isaac: I am going to kill that lady!   
  
((Jenna walks up to Isaac with tears in her eyes, but her fingers curled dangerously into fists))  
  
Jenna: Is it true what you said about me?   
  
Isaac: What? I never talked to you all day. Not even yesterday.  
  
Jenna: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE NEWSPAPER ARTICLE!!  
  
Isaac: What...? Of course not! T-That Tammi...she messed everything up! You know how those reporters are!  
  
Jenna: YOU'RE LYING! You've thought of me that way all the time, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU?!  
  
Isaac: NO! Why would you think that?  
  
Jenna: YOU LIKE MIA MORE! Uh...I don't know why, but you just kind of do!  
  
Isaac: Why would I like her!?  
  
Jenna: You didn't say she was an 'ugly thing'!  
  
Isaac: THE REPORTER DIDN'T ASK ABOUT MIA! ((loses voice))  
  
((Jenna uses 'Fume' and burns Isaac))  
  
((Jenna then runs off))  
  
((Isaac's voice comes back))  
  
Isaac: AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T DRESS UP IN A KIMONO LIKE THAT! AND I DON'T HAVE A ZIT THAT BIG!  
  
((Jenna turns around))  
  
Jenna: You didn't?  
  
-----  
  
The news reporter's 'habit' of switching around things that people say was inspired by Rita Seeker (I think that's her last name) from Harry Potter. Sorry Jenna sounds so gullible. She is short-tempered, though. 


	3. Felix's Interview

Lightning-Dono: Next chapter! This is ultra-fun to write!  
  
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((Reporter knocks on the door of Felix and Jenna's house))  
  
((Jenna opens the door))  
  
Jenna: Oh. Who are you?  
  
Reporter: You can call me reporter. My pen name is Tammi.  
  
((Jenna closes door))   
  
((An hour later, a window breaks))  
  
Felix: What was that? ((gets up))  
  
Jenna: It must be that criminal reporter that's trying to rob us of information and brain-wash us. ((eats an apple))  
  
Felix: How many movies have you watched today?  
  
Jenna: A lot.   
  
((Felix sighs exasperatedly))  
  
Felix: I'll go and kill her. Wait here.  
  
Jenna: Of course. I wouldn't want to accidently get speared by your raging sword.   
  
/In Felix's room/  
  
Reporter: It's awfully dark in here. Care to turn on the light.  
  
Felix: Help yourself.   
  
((Reporter is groping the walls for a light switch))  
  
Felix: Oh, I forgot. We don't have electrical lights. Stay here like a good doggie and I'll go get a match and candle.   
  
((Reporter growls, but sits back down))  
  
((Felix comes back))  
  
Felix: We ran out of candles, so we'll just make a little fire in my room.  
  
Reporter: No, no! The dark is fine. ((whips out her notepad)) I want to interview you.  
  
Felix: No kimmonos, okay?  
  
Reporter: What kimmono? You have one? An custom-made kimmono from Izumo!? ((stares at Felix with wide eyes))  
  
Felix: Jenna does.   
  
Reporter: Oh...Well, you're the next person on my interview list. So, how does it feel to be in a room this dark? Sunlight kills most germs and bacteria, you know. If I get the flu after this, it's all your fault!   
  
Felix: You must remember that this is not modern-day times. We don't have your nice microscopes and- how'd I know about those?   
  
Reporter: I don't know. But you really need some light in here.  
  
Felix: Good for me! Now, ask me those questions and get it over with!  
  
Reporter: What do you eat every day?  
  
Felix: Food. A well-balanced meal in the morning could lead to very refreshing reults.  
  
Reporter: What -kinds- of foods?  
  
Felix: Fruits, my veggies, meats, wheat...  
  
Reporter: ((writing in notepad)) Fruits...'my veggies'...meats...Wheaties...  
  
Felix: ((doesn't hear that she said 'Wheaties')) Anything else?  
  
Reporter: Yes. How do you feel about Jenna? In a brotherly-sisterly way?  
  
Felix: She's okay. A bit hot-headed and sharp-tongued sometimes, but she's fine.  
  
Reporter: Aah. ((writes this down))  
  
Felix: Besides, she's my sister. What did you expect? We do argue about some things still, but she's learned not to disagree. Especially after she's seen my mad swordsmanship skeelz. ((evil smirk))  
  
Reporter: oo Okay. What kind of car do you drive.  
  
Felix: Just out of curiosity, what are these cars people keep telling me about? Jenna just asked what they were yesterday.  
  
Reporter: Nothing.  
  
Felix: Ah, nothing. That explains it. ((is very gullible))  
  
Reporter: Oh, well, I'd best be going now. Good day! ((goes outside and gets blinded by the light))  
  
Felix: Good day to you, also.   
  
/Back in the kitchen/'  
  
Jenna: Did you kill her?  
  
Felix: Nah. Just an interview.  
  
Jenna: Not another one. Didn't you read this morning's newspaper?  
  
Felix: No. Why?  
  
Jenna: She's interviewed Isaac recently. Want to read it? It'll get you prepared for what's going to happen to you pretty soon.  
  
Felix: Hand it over.  
  
((Jenna hands Felix newspaper))  
  
((A few minutes later))  
  
Felix: You've got to admit, she has quite the sense of humor.   
  
Jenna: So you don't care?!  
  
Felix: No. If people insult me, it gives me a better reason to injure them.  
  
Jenna: ((nuttering)) ...Boys... 


	4. Felix's Article

Lightning-Dono: Isaac gets interviewed...Now Felix...And this is Felix's article...  
  
-----  
  
((The next day))  
  
Jenna: Our mail dropped off today. The newspaper is here, too.  
  
Felix: Good. I'd like to see what she did with the interview.  
  
Jenna: Actually, I don't think you really want to.   
  
Felix: Why not? Get out of my way! I need to read it...  
  
Jenna: You don't want to see your picture. Seriously - it's terrible!  
  
Felix: Well, let me see it and get it over with!  
  
((Jenna hands Felix the paper helplessly))  
  
Felix: What the...? I DON'T LOOK THAT BAD! She makes me look like a criminal! My face is all shady, my bangs drape over my eyes, my hair is all around me instead of people in a ponytail...  
  
Jenna: I told you, but you wouldn't take my word for it. You're going to get mad, aren't you?  
  
Felix: I'm already mad, my dear sister. ((reads article))  
  
"Tammi Tsubasa - Reporter - Vale --   
  
Eary morning yesterday, I was in search of a new face to interview. That's what I remembered the potential bad guy of Golden Sun: The Lost Age! Why hadn't it come to me eariler? Anyhow, I interviewed him, sketching out this mysterious -  
  
Felix: That's not an excuse to make me ugly!  
  
Jenna: If your fuse is already lit and you've only read that much, you shouldn't read the rest.  
  
Felix: I need to.  
  
-criminal that has caused so much pain and sufferage on Isaac's part. Sitting inside his dark, angsty room, I knew I wasn't going to get very bright and cheery answers. But I went on and asked him some questions about his daily life. As you all know, ever heroes and bad guys have a life outside of saving the world/destroying the world. I even went as far as to ask what he eats everyday to stay as fit as he is. His reply was,  
  
"Fruits, veggies, meats, Wheaties, and some other unhealthy, but desirable foods."  
  
Apparently, he isn't as intelligent and fit as he sounds and looks. But some things just don't improve with age. He's still in the phase in which the word 'vegetables' ends up coming out as 'veggies', which isn't very understandable. I have spared Felix some suffering in this one particular article because he's my FAVORITE guy in all of Golden Sun -  
  
Felix: Must be the muscles. ((flexes muscles))  
  
Jenna: Oh, please.  
  
-and I wouldn't dare do something that would put him in harm's way. ANYWAYS, back to what I was talking about. Since I absolutely HATE Jenna and want her to die and painful death -  
  
Jenna: WTF!?  
  
Felix: I hate this woman! But first...((continues to read interestedly))  
  
-I have decided to torment her through this article. I hope Felix doesn't kill me. Those rock attacks are quite powerful, heheheheh. Went asked about their relationship together, Felix says,"  
  
"I love her so much. I mean, who needs other girlfriends? I think Kraden likes her more, though. That old fart really needs to get real. He's old, man! He should become one of those hermits who live in backwoods."  
  
Felix, unashamed, states his true feelings about the old scholar...and his sister! Wowzah! Such strong emotions piled into one simple man. I love him sooooooo much, dude. Soooooo much -  
  
Jenna: I don't think you need to kill her. I'll gladly do it myself.  
  
Felix: I'll help. This woman is pissing me off...  
  
Jenna: o.o You never said that...that WORD before...  
  
Felix: Yeah, well, I've changed! -.-  
  
-man, you don't know how much I love him. I love him so...Well, back on subject. Our big boy asks about cars. He questions about what they are. I must say, I can never and will not introduce you to modern day technology! I love Weyard too much to let you destroy it."  
  
Jenna: Well, that was crap. ((throws it out the window))  
  
Felix: I hate the way she displays me like some lovesick...FREAK.  
  
Jenna: I like how you put that. ((grins)) Let's go annhialate her!  
  
Felix: YES.  
  
((Both run out and spot the reporter out there))  
  
Felix: MOTHER GAIA!  
  
Jenna: SERPENT FUME!  
  
((Rocks come crashing down on the reporter and she is burned))  
  
Reporter: Orororororo...I want to interview Jenna...((faints)) 


End file.
